i dun understand y u muz keep sayin tt uve brought me pain
u inflict more pain by sayin so...

is dere sucha ting as brain wash ma?

everyth or everywhere i go i still tink abt her
even lookin at my toes ill b reminded of her smiling sayin our toes are e same kind, diff from others...
hahaz
hao hao xiao
was so happy den

yday she msg sayin she found a job le
was so happy
but den
not very
cos im reminded tt we r not together le
we cant b lyk in e past
i cant send her to work
cant send her hm aft work
i tried to surpress myself
v v v hard

i merely gave a smiley face
cos i noe
tts all i can do now
its not i dun care
its juz tt im forcing myself to do so
else ill juz tell her how much i miss her or how deep i luv her
in which, i dun tink its a gd idea... cos i tink shes tryin to forget me
if by forgettin me she can lead a happier life y shd i stop her from doin so?

hao xin ku hao tong ku
wo gai zhen me ban

i tink my heart stopped on 22/10/06 1045

aft all these yrs she told me tt she wasnt sure if she loved me
was all juz a pretence?
i dunno
hao nan guo hao nan guo

hmmm she msn me next day
i dunno wad to sae
had to force myself to smile
but e fact is my heart is bleeding
i tink all my blood is drained...

im a walking dead le ba?
wo hai shi wo ma?
i tot such tings onli happen in movies
least did i expect it will befall on me

now i realise how it feels lyk being deeply in luv but in e end, in vain
i tink im dead le
luv doesnt exist at all
mayb dey do but not everlasting
haha

when dere's comparison den ull realise
mayb tts y
tts e reason

fixing a broken heart

looked at our pics juz now...
e smiles aren't fake
it came rite from my heart
na shi zhen de hao gao xing =)

everyday i wake up e 1st ting tt comes into my mind is her
all e moments i spent wif her
all her smiles
all her actions

cook hs had spaghetti
i tot of her again...
e very 1st dish tt she cooked herself n gave me to eat
suan suan tian tian de
hen hao chi

den e moments we spent in wcp
hao hao xiao
ke shi xian zai bu hui chun zai le ba?

den looked at e letters she wrote to me
hao tian mi
till now i still feel tt im in paradise aft reading
but reality is... i was in paradise...

den tot of many many other moments
lyk in westmall, cck, suntec, marina, tbp, north pt, jp, je, etc
hao duo hui yi
zhen de bu ke neng wang ji ta
but i guess aft some time ta hui wang le wo
mayb now all these r not even in her memories le

den e way she sa jiao all tt
haha i dunno how to put it into words
but its v ke ai =)
when i tink of how to desc ill jot it down here lol

hmm...everyday is diff now le... no more sweet smses to brighten my day
no more her beside me...
everywkend is worse... ill normally wake up feelin happy cos will b goni out wif her but now my mind is blank
i guess i onli enjoy her company ba

wo xiang ta mei yi tian yi ding guo de hao kai xin
creating new memories ba
zhu ta zhao re zhao dao ta de zhen ming tian zi
im sure she will
or mayb had le


*its great to tink tings while lying down*
*cos ur tears will roll back instead of rolling down*

aft so long
i read from sum1's nick forgot who's liao
it says eye is the heart, when it tears it means ur heart is bleeding
how true
when ur heart broken u cry, when u cry means ur heart is broken
hmmm everyth juz changed.
she wans to b alone
i dunno wads e reason
mayb i do but i hope its not tt

everywhere i go dere's our footsteps
everyth i c there's our memories
its alrdy part of my life
n now... it feels lyk its gone.. how can i ever forget her?
everyth is goin wrong for me
there's so much tings for me to handle
in life in camp n tis is a heavy blow for me
im not myself anymore

my heart is bleeding

i saw the msgs in my hp
i sent her while she's in aus on her visit to her relatives
its still so sweet
haha its kinda dumb msg but i felt so fortunate den
hmmm rem of the times we were in wcp
in suntec etc basically everywhere
we wud squabble n tease each other pinchin n punchin
juz lyk xiao fu qi
hao tian mi

my eyes r tearing

tml there's outfield but i still cant set my mind straight
of cos i will still try to perform since im e det comd now but...
i tink life is juz lyk a roller coaster
1st u got everyth next everyth is gone

mayb humans perfers novelty
when there's sum1 interesting come by of cos u will take another look or even wanna get to noe him n den it starts
i dunno wad to sae anymore juz feel so empty minded

my heart is bleeding

well luckily my camp mates were wif me
at least my attention wud b diverted n not tink so much
on tt thurs deres so much tings to do
realli alot
n its den tt i got to noe she msg me
if not for em to help me out i tink i wud haf broken down
juggling wif work n heart break is not easy
tml is outfield
wo hui ru he ne

cherish all uve got
when u r happy im smiling
do not tear or my heart will b bleeding
live life to e fullest k